WHO AM I NOW?

At midlife I wrote a book, "Laying the Roles to Rest", as part of clarifying where I had come from and what I had become. Now at 80 years of age I am raising a similar question: Who Am I Now? I hope this blog will help me begin to answer that. Well into my retirement years and with the blessing of time to give to this enterprise, I am beginning to get some answers. Aging has not changed the endgame, but it does me move me closer to it. It certainly changes the game plan and the equipment. So who am I now?

Many times in my journey I expressed my desire for more freedom. I did not always know freedom from what, to do what, or for what. In the words of a popular song from my youth, it was just "Don't Fence Me In."

I especially resonated with the New Testament emphasis on freedom. The Apostle Paul said clearly, "Freedom is what we have--Christ has set us free." Accordingly,that is what kept me a Baptist. The freedom Baptists stood for historically included the freedoms of conscience and religious liberty. I experienced disillusionment and grief when my denomination split over  these values. I still treasure these values. I am pleased that at this stage of life, I am free to explore more of what God is doing in all religions and faith groups. That is exciting.

What I look for now is worship space that provides for unity, inclusiveness, love, service and understanding. In my private spiritual space (including daily soul-searching time with Martha), I value dropping below the surface of a world in conflict where in my transparency I can be free to be me and less controlled by my ego. WhenI can allow that to happen I experience more joy, peace, grace and God. In that space of spiritual freedom and awareness I can now know what God is calling me to be and do in community and relations with others.