A BLESSED WALK

It’s a good day when I can be especially  helpful to someone and do something helpful for myself at the same time. Charlie wonders if that might be the divine plan for everyday, but this day did seem to be special.  Last Saturday we were invited by a friend to participate in “The Hope, Steps & Cure Walk San Antonio”, a fundraising and awareness walk to benefit the Aplastic Anemia & MDS International Foundation. This foundation provides support and hope to patients with bone marrow diseases. Our friend, Monica Fairchild, has a sister named Camy who had to interrupt her grad school work when she was suddenly hit with a serious illness. After months of testing, searching, experimenting and treatment she was given a diagnosis of Aplastic Anemia. Eventually she was able to complete her doctorate and tells how this foundation supported her and gave her hope and direction. Monica and Camy have given leadership and endless energy in support of the foundation. My wife, Martha, daughter, Karen, and I were privileged to give support to the foundation by joining the walk. The stimulating two-mile walk with caring and beautiful people was a blessing to us.  

DEEP INSIDE THE BOX

To be creative we have to think outside the box, but who is inside the box? Suppose it is me?  And what if thinking will not get to the me deep within. Part of the process of growing old, I’m discovering, is learning to know and trust my inner self without all the props proposed by folks out side my box trying to tell me  how to live inside. The more I know myself the more I know what is true and it doesn’t come by logic. It is spiritual in nature. I do better when I close the doors and windows so I can’t hear the loud, energetic pundits  telling me who I am or should be. When I nurture the self I find there and treasure it as a gift from God suddenly I know what is true. Trusting these inner values and experiences of God free me from an addiction to external voices and sometimes even from my own wild, noisy thoughts. This whole process is facilitated by a attending to the teachings of  Christ who promised that I can know the truth.  

BE STILL

Charlie Wonders why it is so difficult for him to do the simplest thing: be still. That quiet, spaciousness which should come easily, becomes complicated and almost like hard work. Is this some kind of divine joke? Does God get a kick out of watching us “human doings” repeatedly miss the point of just “being”. (“Miss the point” in  Bible speak is “sin.”)  In a conference for Americans in Mallorca, Spain, we heard our inspirational speaker refer casually to the quiet time he and his wife had each morning.  Later, during a Q and A period, one of our colleagues asked, “Dr. Tournier, what do you and your wife do in your quiet time?” Tournier thought and then answered in carefully articulated, broken English, “We be quiet.”  

Charlie and the Tourniers

Yesterday Martha and I in our quiet time read, “The language of God is stillness.  The rest is a bad translation” (Eckhart Tolle). How could all our chatter about God be otherwise? Did not God say through Isaiah, “My thoughts are not  your thoughts?” When talking about God all we have to work with are our words, our thoughts. Our best thoughts (opinions) are still just stories we made up or heard from someone else. The Psalmist tries to help us with this when he reports God saying, “Be still and know that I am God.” When I can remember to practice this, I am amazed at the wonderful things I can know: God, my true self and the many mysteries we call “spiritual.”  This peaceful quiet doesn’t last long.  Soon I have to do something with it--write a blog?

SHOCKED BUT NOT SURPRISED

SHOCK AND NOT SURPRISED

Is it a contradiction in terms to say that I was shocked at the horrible murders and attempted assassination in Tucson last Saturday and yet not surprised? The “not surprised” part comes from fifty years of listening to people telling true stories of their experiences with the slippery slope of hostility.  I have spent my share of time there myself.  Charlie Wonders if that which he sees in individuals and families applies to a nation. It all starts innocently and properly enough when we become aware of something that is obviously going wrong. Such awareness may lead us to pray the serenity prayer: “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” So far so good--if we let it happen. If we can't do something constructive and can't let it go, our prayers can turn into complaints. We start the blame game, pinning negative labels on our newly created “enemies.” We confuse facts with opinions and viewpoints. Our rhetoric gets reckless. To get attention (and hopefully pick up some allies) we increase the volume at first by raising our voice a bit and eventually, if not stopped, it becomes yelling and screaming, outrage We find cheerleaders to stir us and give us moral (?) support. We easily buy what they sell as the “truth.” We are no longer interested in simple and verifiable facts. When the imagined threat takes a human face and form its only a step from there to aggression and physical violence. Even if you or I would never go this far, someone else may pick up the weapon and finish what we started. Then we can feel shock, superior. The popular definition of insanity (to keep doing the things we have been doing and expect a different result) perhaps explains the surprise. I, for one, have some soul searching to do.

HAPPY NEW YEAR?

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For several weeks now I have been writing, praying, wishing folks a “Happy New Year”. Now I am having second thoughts about that expression. Not that I am taking anything back, but Charlie wonders about the words.  (Martha reminds me that I often get hung up on words). The new year is a reality I don’t quarrel with.  But what does the “happy” mean.  For some it means have a blast, a party.  Even the common New Year’s Day hangover is not a total waste.  It reminds one at the start of the year the pain and discomfort that accompany shortcuts to “happiness.”  Maybe happy means your football team wins (Yeah OU, OSU and Spurs!) Maybe it is a wish for more and tastier food. Or does it refer to the entire coming  year. Some refer to the year 2011 specifically.  But to wish anyone a whole year of happiness? Now we have left reality unless we are wishing they would die and go to heaven. But to live out the coming year in a state of perfect bliss with no episodes of unhhappiness is fantasy. Whatever happens in 2011 will be just that.  Only our reactions to what happens determines our level of happiness. Maybe I could just pray that we all might look at whatever happens through the loving eyes of God and know that then our responses will produce the joy and peace that God desires for us.

CHRISTMAS 2010

“O Holy Night . . . Long lay the world in sin and error pining ‘til He appeared and the soul felt its worth”. At our house we are learning that as the body/ mind ages and slows down we are blessed with the time that helps us enjoy our God-given essence. We are giving up trying to explain these discoveries of our inner being except to say it feels wonderful.  

We are further blessed with friends and family that enrich our lives almost daily. Nearly thirty of of our grown children, in-laws and partners, grandchildren, great-grandchildren live in our San Antonio-Austin neighborhood plus Kathy and her family in Oklahoma and Washington D. C. (where Crystal passed her bar exam). We are love rich.

This year most of us got together for Charles’ 80th birthday party and again for Kathy’s visit to San Antonio this fall.  In September Charles and Martha got away to New Orleans to celebrate our 28th wedding anniversary and Martha’s 78th birthday.  Kimi and Keri did their own version of escape with a trip to Europe and a cruise on the Med.  

As another year draws to a close and as more of our family and friends depart, we are aware of the impermanence of everything and that by accepting this reality we are making the most of freed-up spirits and the heaven that Jesus said is among us.  So its on to celebrating His coming and making joyful life  possible. Won’t you join us with a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.?         

I AM I SAID

Recently, on the way into Bible Study, a friend greeted me and asked casually and sincerely, “How are you?” I answered, “I am . . .” I then paused and felt confused as I searched for a word to finish my sentence. I could too easily have answered with the usual “fine”, or  “never been better,” or “can’t complain” (before proceding to do so).  With this particular friend I could have answered, “better than you” but that would only elicit a challenge from him.  Actuallly, after the “I am", I instinctively said “that’s enough. Just I am period.” I could do no better than that. In Exodus God told Moses, “I AM!”  St. Paul said, “By the grace of God I am. . .”  Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life.”  Even Popeye said repeatedly, I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam.” My friend and I both understand that our “amness”, (essence, being, life,soul) is a gift from God.We are are gifts of grace as Paul says. 'Nuf said for now.